A quiet note says so much more
Leadership communication that shouts safety
What is the worst thing that could happen when you speak in front of a room full of people? All sorts of harrowing scenarios come to mind. One of my worst nightmares happened to me today.
I presented for the best part of 45 minutes before setting the room up for breakout sessions on the topic we were working through. As a part of the activity, everyone was scribbling their thoughts onto Post-It notes. Then, without notice a Post-It note was handed to me. I took it back to my workstation and read it.
“Ur zip is undone”
My first reaction was embarrassment. My second reaction was to zip up! My third reaction was to realise what the person had done for me. No one else in the whole room realised that this note had been passed. The communication was done in a respectful and considered manner. It was also in pure service of me. She helped me when I didn’t even realise I needed help.
This sent out a lot of strong signals to me:
I am safe in this space – this person will take care of me
This person is looking out for me (and for anything dangerous to me)
This person is not afraid to take action and do what needs to be done
This person is not just thinking of themselves
This person is not looking for recognition, reward, or to be seen as ‘the hero’
This person is a leader
A simple note can say so much.
When I talk about leadership traits and the traits of high performing team members, these small acts are what I look out for. Alex ‘Sandy’ Pentland from MIT writes about these behaviours in Honest Signals, and they are critical to overcoming our constant fears being driven by our insatiable fight/flight/freeze response.
All of us can implement this type of communication. It is quiet, specific, and it is in pure service of the other person. Robert K Greenleaf made Servant Leadership famous back in the 1970’s, and to this day it is still a foundation to high performance management.
The one big lesson for me - pay a little bit more attention in the wardrobe department from now on!
