Give Them 'What They Don't Know'

Watching professional sport may be considered entertainment but in my world, it is study. This can apply to documentaries, film, and limited series. This is why I crave Light Entertainment when I sit on the couch with the one explicit goal of switching my brain off. One such show I enjoy for this specific purpose is The Graham Norton Show. Even though it is impossible not to admire Norton's brilliant presenting and interviewing skills, its a good laugh where no mental energy is required.

But, last night one of the guests referred to 'it' again. This word, concept, quality... it follows me around everywhere I go. Is it my reticular activation operating on steroids? Is it a deep love (or infatuation) for the idea?

Humility, it seems to be everywhere.

Maybe the fact I jump at my first-person analysis tells us everything we need to know about my ego, my plight, and why it resonates so intensely.

The other observation may be that humility is the number one most powerful quality any of us can learn, build, and maintain due to its impact. In this case, Michael Fassbender was the celeb speaking to this. His reflection was that by acknowledging how little he knows and controls helps him to take on the challenges in his professional life (as well as his passion of being a LeMans endurance car driver - who knew.)

This topic came up yet again in a coaching call with a client this week. When digging into leader's problems in these sessions it is my job to ask the questions and not to tell people what they think. So, when leader's tell me their problems and solutions revolve around humility (or the lack of it), we then explore it. The sessions are often 'coachee led', and this comes up often. 

In this specific call, we explored it by looking at the Competence Model (NYU, 1960) and how it overlaps with my Return on Effort model. This paints an easy-to-follow pathway of how to build our capability (and that of the people we are leading).

So, what does a lack of humility look like. In my terms, it is Extinction, which states that if we keep acting like this then the job, client, or entire business will wither and die. One concept helping us to understand why this happens is the Dunning-Kruger Effect. This is a concept first published in 1999 by a couple of psychologists where they tested subjects on topics like humor, grammar, and logic. Their findings were that people with the least knowledge and ability in any of these areas consistently overrated themselves and their performance.

A cropped excerpt from my blackboard in this coaching call. It shows the overlay of ROE and the Competence Model. It also shows the pathway we are on in our pursuits, and is critical for leadership growth, influence, and capability building.

The implication for leaders is that we tend to act with overconfidence to cover up our incompetence. If we build this into a habit, the cascade takes care of itself - lots of lies, broken promises, even more overcompensation, and a reputation of low trust. Ingredients for a harder, shorter, less prosperous tenure. 

So, what can we do to boost and leverage our humility as a leader to avoid the risks of Extinction?

How Little Instead Of How Much

If the theory holds that we know less about a subject than we do know, then instead of thinking and talking about how much we know, it may be more valuable to focus on all the stuff we don't know. This means...

• you won't look like a d!ck - because people love working with know-it-alls and braggers...

• you will learn - Albert Einstein famously said, "the more I learn, the more I realise how much I don't know". The ability to surface and discuss blind spots, unknowns, and risks is a superpower. Focusing attention here is a super power for any leader. Digging into the blind spots yields endless insights and is educative for all.

• you will be trusted - If it is true that we know little, then admitting it means people immediately trust you more. Brene Brown has made a huge impact on the world through her work on vulnerability. She found that people who are vulnerable tend to be happier and have more self worth (a grossly short summary of two decades of research). But, going around saying "I don't know anything" also risks our credibility. A better tact is to quit pretending to be what we think the world wants, and ask intelligent questions where things don't add up. As leaders we are the ones that can ask the best questions and be the platform for intelligent investigation and collaboration.

Humility says,

"I don't know everything?"

"My ideas are good, but I want to test them before making decisions"

"How can we all understand this better?"

"What do I/we/they need to understand better to do good work"

The bigger the feeling of crisis the more this cornerstone of leadership is required. But, be warned, when things are coming easy a good dose of humility will ensure the trap door back to extinction does open beneath our feet. 

My Dunning-Kruger is slowly evaporating as I understand the reality that humility isn't following me everywhere I go, but it is following us all. The more competent all of us are in this space, the more trust, discussion, and improvement we will experience in all areas of our work, leadership, and communities.