How To Spot Existor Leadership
The Agreeable Leadership Style That Sends Us To Extinction
Because of boredom or a want to hold onto comfort, Existor Leaders will agree with whatever people say. They may even agree with statements and poor decisions from peers and junior staff. They don’t build a case or engage with a problem. They just want to punch the clock, get their pay check and go home. Sometimes, agreeing to do a little more work is preferable to an Existor rather than having to argue or stand up to injustice or poor decisions. It is easy to see why Existors are generally not respected.
Now, don’t get me wrong - sometimes the best thing a leader can do is to fall in line, be quiet, or let ‘sleeping dogs lie’. This can be a shrewd and strategic move at times. But, when this Agreeable Style is the established way of working, people do not feel protected, inspired, or motivated. Trust is diminished. The signal is that nothing is worth fighting for and that care is not important.
Traits of Existor Leadership:
Yes Sir - Too much Yes and not enough No. Prioritising likability and popularity over performance not only compromises vision and results, it also lowers trust. As Susan Newman, the Social Psychologists writes in The Book of No, “We live under this misconception that saying yes, being available, always at the ready for other people, makes us a better person, but in fact, it does quite the opposite. You get stressed and anxious; you’re viewed as a patsy”
Too Nice - Being nice and playing by the rules is a real turnoff. A research group asked subjects to play a game with individual and group rewards. They tracked the reaction people had to Selfish Moves and Generous Moves. The study showed that people disliked the Generous Moves the most. It showed that people didn’t like virtuous moves as it made them feel bad about themselves. They also felt that the people playing Generous Moves were not fitting in with the social norm of the group (ie. They were undermining the fun of the game and made others feel guilty about they’re own moves). Being overly agreeable can lose us respect in our work circles, even if it is coming from a virtuous and nice place.
Social Harmony - There is a phenomenon called Groupthink. This is where everyone in a team thinks the same way and independent thought is not valued. There is a lack of ideas and the first obvious solutions are agreed upon. Fundamentally, Existors prioritise social harmony rather than innovation and performance. This also speaks to the importance of diversity in teams, not only demographically, but psychologically. Leaders that do not encourage people to disagree are promoting Groupthink.
The Return On Effort (ROE) Game all leaders are playing - Existor Leadership is the roadblock that stops teams moving from Extinction to Isolation. To learn more about these concepts go to www.paulfarina.com.au
Existor Leadership creates drag and mediocre performance. Do this for long enough and it won’t be long before projects and entire operations slip into Survival Mode. In fact, Existor Leadership is the road block between getting our of the Extinction Phase and being able to enter into the Isolation Phase. Existors tend to be in a Protectionist Mindset fore-mostly driven by fear. Where fear is the motivation there will always be doubts rendering any form of personal Rhythm impossible, let alone team Rhythm and Synchronisation. By asking what it is that you want and questioning the path you are taking will help Existors spring out of any slump or stupor that is being experienced. Engaging with this, and any other reason that is stopping us from engaging deeply with the problems we are meant to be solving and the people we are meant to be serving is a quick and low-to-no-cost activity any of us can do to spark us out of this mode and move us forward in our Leadership Journey.
Banner Image Source: https://www.pinterest.com.au/pin/432416001721512375/
