Knowing

Who is the expert in our realm?

Am I doing it correctly? Can you check if my way is the right way? What can I do better?

These are common questions I get from people when I am helping them prepare presentations, proposals, and strategies for their clients, senior decision makers, or their teams. They are good questions in this context as people are learning techniques and tools, and sometimes for the first time. But, when is the moment we go from learner to expert? When does this happen and at what point can we adjust our mindset from seeking validation to giving self-validation?

The first element to consider is our self-awareness and positioning of ourselves as professionals in our chosen field. I once asked a mentor how I could deal with my imposter syndrome ('doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud', HBR 2021), and his response was swift and stayed with me.

"There is no such thing as a Poster"

Imposter Syndrome is felt by most leaders at one point or another. Separating truths from imagined fallacies and sitting in one's power is more productive and so much more enjoyable

Source: TED-Ed

He was not referring to a decorative picture on a wall. Of course, his point is we tend to focus on the doubts and holes in our work or abilities, and we tend to find faults aplenty. Comparing ourselves with others doesn't tend to help how we feel either. We can feel inadequate and possibly even unqualified for our positions. This happens often in leadership roles, particularly when we are stepping up into larger responsibilities in dynamic and changing circumstances (almost every leadership position currently could be described like this!)

Recently while playing golf with a good friend of mine, a senior director for one of the world's largest national sporting bodies turned to me and said, "I'm always wondering when they are going to find me out." This from a guy that has been leading his department for many years at an elite level. It was a little jolting while also not surprising me as I have heard this (and thought it myself) many times.

I have found some helpful questions to work through when we feel out of our depth or in need of validation:

1. What do I know?

Instead of mentally focusing on what we don't know or have experience in, a better starting point may be to acknowledge the things we know to be true. This is at the heart of the principle Realistic Optimism (Schneider 2001), one of the seven pillars of resilience (Daniel Goleman, Hay Group). When we can list out elements of our past performance we know to be fact then we can create a tangible connection from our proven track record to the job at hand. This feeds optimism and confidence from a grounded and pragmatic perspective.

2. What do I think is missing?

Validation requires someone else to tell us what we are doing well and and what we are missing. I feel it is wise to get other people's opinions (especially from those we respect and trust). But, self-validation and analysis is firstly required and ultimately very useful. Ray Dalio says, "Higher-level thinking isn't done by higher level beings. It's simply seeing things from the top down. Think of it as looking at a photo of yourself and the world around you from outer space... Having that macro perspective gives you much more insight than you'd get if you simply looked around your house through your own eyes".  If we take this macro view of our work/proposal/situation to see what is missing (and working/not working) we can then discuss with others to test our perspective against theirs. Doing it in reverse only hands over our right to choice, responsibility, and power. 

3. What am I the expert on?

I am a firm believer that as individuals we are the global experts of our responsibilities. We are the most qualified to comment and analyse our own work. Seeking feedback from others to get insights is a clever thing to do, but the final word must be ours. In my world I am held accountable to my work through feedback surveys and client evaluations. I take these very seriously and learn a lot from them. But, firstly I do my own review on what worked well and what I could improve. When it comes to a training program, I generally have the most experience of these settings. And, I am the only one in the room that knows the content, flow, and vision of the experience. Therefore I am the most qualified person to assess the program. I am the expert. I believe this is the same for you and your context. You are the expert of your work, your job, your performance, and your plans.  Acknowledge this and remind yourself of it often. It is a fundamental principle of self empowerment.

Knowing of one's knowledge, skills, experience, and abilities is an act of agency. It widens our circle of control and narrows our focus on the job at hand and what the next steps look like to achieve maximum return on effort (ROE). It fuels us to move forward and persevere through tough challenges and more importantly, new territories. The temptation to ask for other's validation may never go away. Awareness to sit our nonsensical imposter syndrome down and instead invest in our self validation can be a game changer for our leadership and individual performance. From here, we can bring in other's perspectives deliberately and maintain (or even grow) our authority and confidence. 

Banner Image Source: STIFTELSEN FORSKNING & FRAMSTEG