The Leadership Mess of 2024
Leaders need to be resilient, take responsibility, and have an answer at every turn.
They need to be 'on' all the time, be the level head while all lose theirs and look after everyone's wellbeing. They need to be the picture of consistency, cleverness, and calm. All while having fun and making sure it is a fun experience for everyone else.
And don't forget to project positivity, success, and value in your personal brand on socials too!
This is literally the expectation we have of our leaders. And, more pointedly the expectation leaders put on themselves.
The relentless nature of a competition-driven-capitalist system steeped in an information-overloaded era means there is no hiding, no ducking, and no safe space to retreat to.
The playing field is brutal, infinite, and spits good people out with constancy.
There is a funky stinky truth to the leadership game currently. Here is what I have learnt this year through hundreds of hours of coaching conversations and dozens of workshops:
They are struggling - look at your LinkedIn feed and see all the smiling faces, big announcements, and clever little quotes. But please know that most of those projecting success are enduring a real and difficult struggle. I am a proud slow learner, and therefore I still find myself surprised how much difficulty 'impressive senior leaders' are going through. Sometimes it is a personal struggle and often it is inter-personal or financial. Whatever the struggle this all plays out within the brutality of the business landscape. Steve Bartlett's most recent podcast gives an insight into this at the very highest level (DOAC - Steven Shares His Secret Diary). The rich and famous show us there is a real struggle even with all the cash, ego-boosting-adulation, and opportunity they enjoy. Riches do not change anything.
They are consumed with small stuff - a common phrase is to 'not sweat the small stuff'. The act of seeing the bigger picture, placing incidents into a wider context, and doing one's best to not let the insignificant stuff cause stress, distraction, and unwanted anxiety. But, like most memes we see in our social feeds, they are nice thoughts most of us fail to be able to execute. It may not be death by a thousand cuts, but it is certainly drain by thousands of cringes. In retail almost every morning I would walk into my store and see products, posters, tools, and general cleanliness a little off or partially done correctly. Sometimes forgotten to be done at all. I would mentally cringe multiple times before I put my bag down. This is happening everyday for every leader. If you don't sweat it then standards slip. Sweating the small stuff is a part of the gig - all leaders are struggling with it and its draining the battery.
They are being fed to the vultures - HR, Senior Leadership, and even clients are all generally wanting leaders at all levels to perform well. It is in their own self interest. But, that does not mean they do not have their own struggles to take care of and thus are rarely on hand to help, support, and give us what we crave in moments of struggle, pain, and uncertainty. One of the most prominent lessons I learnt from over a decade in the corporate belly is this: the cavalry is NOT coming. If you are leader, even if you have a supportive and knowledgeable boss or board, know that you are on your own. As someone that has had legal action brought on them, was constantly in trouble with HR, and had to confront under-performance as well as mediate team disputes often, I feel qualified to say that the only answer for any leader is to become capable to deal with the issues you are exposed to in your position. No one is going to be there to do it for you.
They really don't know - I've taken my first board position this year and been in a few training environments for board members as a delegate. Aside to this I've been doing my usual work with leaders of all kinds. In all these environments I am always watching, listening, and observing for the types of questions people ask and the insights people give to challenging questions and topics. It seems to me that most of us have wider and deeper blank spots than we are willing to admit. In a world where we feel like we need to know everything, the reality is we know less than we think we do (see the Dunning Kruger Effect). Our underlying confidence is always being tested and doubt is another daily source of energy suck for most (if not all!)
They are confused - Leaders think they need to be wiser, more compassionate and passionate than any other. They think they need to save the day, be a silky powerful speaker, and care more than any one else. HR departments are telling leaders they are responsible for their team's mental health even though they have no training or qualifications in this most difficult space (yes, this is happening out there folks), all while budgets and head counts are being stripped away. Most are wondering, "what the hell am I meant to do!?!" And, most do not have an answer. Often recency bias kicks in and the latest message from above, book, or podcast influences how people attack things. Leaders do their best and sometimes it works out. The confusion no what to be, what to do, what to listen to seems to be common and for many it is crippling.
It all makes for depressing reading (apologies). But, it is a matter of perspective. To me, I find it all to be liberating. We can step into the reality that we are all having a similar shared experience.
It is not 'just me'!
Each individual leader and professional can be seen as a competitor, but knowing so-called competitors are also having a similar experience means we can dispense with any notion we are 'not good enough' or inferior. We can also acknowledge the lack of process, or foundational first principles we may not have and explore a few keystones we can bring into our personal system of operating.
But, most importantly we can acknowledge how difficult it is (and always has been). To lead a team on the frontline earning $70, 80, or 100k a year is not easy. Leading your own business no matter the size is exposing and confronting. Leading a large department or whole business in a corporate setting is full of dangers few navigate with longevity. Once again, knowing this can be helpful to set realistic expectations. The unicorn leadership image needs to be torn up and thrown away for good. It is as harmful as it is unhelpful. The alternative is...
Not for me to tell you.
In fact, I think this is how we get ourselves in such a messy state in the first place by deferring to parents, other leaders, and experts. It is not for anyone to tell you. You've been around for long enough. You know your profession/trade. You know your own personality and what works best for you. So, go 'do you' and let the rest ride. As Oscar Wilde once said, "be yourself (everyone else is taken anyway)".
As the year closes, a message I want to share is for you to know that everyone else is doing it tough too. Know that you have been fed unrealistic expectations. Know that many could not do a better job than you are doing. Keep going, keep developing, and keep being you.
