The Pursuit Of

The 90's for me was all about grunge music, basketball, baggy shorts and trousers, and long hair. For us school kids at the time it was also an era of trying, or should I say anti-trying.

I remember playing board games, our legendary Farina Backyard Cricket, playground basketball, and dobs-of-the-footy (international folks may need to google this one). We used to go at it hard. Sweat, blood and tears were literal and it wasn't a real game unless arguments broke out. We'd tear chunks out of each other making for a brutal fun only adolescence can enjoy. It was a connector, generally for a bunch of pre- and pubescent lads. But, at no time could you been seen to be trying. To try your hardest wasn't cool. To really put your whole heart into it was in someways pathetic and easy fodder for teasing.

Form was rated over function - play it cool, do exciting moves, but never look like you're trying. This was fuelled by the bleakness and despair of the grunge movement us middle class boys took to heart. And, if you did pop your head up and put it all on the line in a basketball game or a class project and didn't nail it you'd be called the worst thing - A Try Hard.

This would burn. Deep. The feeling of being called out as a Trier when you failed was humiliating and demoralising. I am sure all generations have their version of this. But, for us I have no doubt it arrested plenty of development in one way or another.

Now, as fully bona fide and qualified adults we have moved on. We grow careers, become parents, travel the world, and start doing all sorts of weird stuff humans do. Some take up a Martial Art, other weirdo's start doing silly things like long distance running/cycling/swimming. Or, the more conservative but weirder amongst us take up an infuriating game like golf. Whatever your pursuit it is a funny phenomenon where we put our whole heart into an activity with very little tangible reward. We do these things as amateurs so there is only cost when it comes to finances. We are also bad at them (at least when we begin) so it is always difficult. And, then there is the time. The commodity we have the least of when life itself seems to be moving faster with every year that passes.

Why the hell would we do this to ourselves?

It makes much more sense to chill. Rest. Put our feet up. Yet, instead we get up before dawn to do the workout or practice. Or we sort out the kid's dinner after a long tough day at work and head out to training. It is masked with the want to be fitter or to connect with others (which are all motivators and true), but there is something deeper. We are putting ourselves on the line and pushing towards something for a bigger reason.

Joe Hart is a friend of mine and Organisational Psychologist. He shared his Karate story on LinkedIn. His pursuit sums up what it is all about to be In Pursuit Of. (Click on the img for full story)
Image Source: Linkedin

This 'something' is still not clear to me in the collective sense. It seems to me the easy answer is: it's personal. Everyone has their own drivers. Some are just endorphin junkies. Others have an inner pride to boost. Others are proving something to themselves or naysayers. For me, I just love being back in the arena. As an ex-sportsman I have found winning to be such a hollow part of playing sport. I don't train, invest, and play golf to win competitions. I do it because I deeply love the experience and all its learnings it gives me for my wider life. It mirrors my work and I find myself pursuing 'better' in both areas because I am chasing 'the moment'. An old friend Andy Kay used to say, "you have earn your sloth", speaking to the need 'to do' before slouching on the couch or popping a beer. Wise words indeed Ecces.  

These pursuits are a platform for us to gain 'peak experiences' or to get in the 'the zone'. I'm not too worried about the name. These are just the times I feel most connected with the world around me, and it feels bloody amazing. The biggest high I get is in a workshop when everyone in the room is feeling and thinking the same thing or having the same realisation.

Every pursuit has its moments. The moments we chase. And, to be cliched - the journey towards them ends up being the real reward.

But, that is all a bit trite when you wake up and your ankle doesn't work or the side of your back is pulsating with pain. Or, when you deliver a key note that falls flat (so I've heard... 😒). None of this 'the-journey-is-the-reward' malarky is useful when you are hurting. In our pursuits, we are dealt with obstacle after obstacle. Failure after failure. And, a want to give up almost daily at times.

To move through our pursuits, we need systems. We need process and support. We need tools. And, we need a little help from our friends. With all of this we can pick away at our professional and personal pursuits. We can go whole heartedly and instead of being shamed for trying we can relinquish ourselves to the process of trying - again and again and again.

The 90's were magnificent. But, in the 2020's I salute the people in The Pursuit Of. The dedicated and marvellous humans with 'Try Hard' branded proudly across their faces.

For those still reading and identifying as Try Hards, here are a few questions I hope are helpful for you as you close the lid on one year and prepare to pop open another:

What is your pursuit(s)?

Why is it worth pursuing?

Who will bear the costs of this pursuit?   

How do you know when you have achieved your pursuit?

What indicates if you are 'on track' in this pursuit?

How are you going to leverage your effort in this pursuit?

What mantras or affirmations are going to help you when things get tough?

I take inspiration from people like David Goggins (You Can't Hurt Me), Pat Riley (The Winner Within), Matthew McConaughey (Greenlights), and Leigh Sales (Any Ordinary Day) to name a few from various worlds. All are ordinary people from modest backgrounds that journeyed through the most confronting and difficult scenarios to achieve what they achieved respectfully. All for different meanings and different fields.

Our pursuits are just as extraordinary. It is those in The Pursuit Of  which I love spending time with, learning from, and supporting. I can't wait to hear about what you are pursing in your work and personal life. In fact, hit reply with your answers to the above questions for no other reason than to get it out of your head - a good starting point as the new year dawns.