Despondence

The wall between us and the field

No chance! That is the reaction we have when the client, the boss, or the person in front of us gives us a target or a deadline we feel is unachievable. Its been happening since well before any of us existed and is central to the heat many are feeling in a pandemic effected world. There is a despondence in our workforce's driving despair and a sheer lack of belief that targets can be hit or deadlines can be made - sometimes referred to as 'negativity'. Fatigue is contributing to this as workers are working longer hours than pre-2020 (the Economist, Nov 2020). 

Some leaders coax, persuade, and push their teams into conformity or drive people through inspirational and motivational techniques. If we push or work hard enough to drag our team morale up then we may get them to a point where they blow Hot 'n' Cold - some days they are engaged and self-motivated while other days they slump and dissipate into their own factions. Or, this may present with some being 'fully up for it' while others 'can't get on board'. In a team I am working with at the moment, there are two junior team members getting stuck in and aren't concerned about high-expectations or tough targets (hot), while other more-seasoned-campaigners are focused on the demon'isation of head office and senior managers for handing down 'unrealistic targets' (cold). A Hot 'n' Cold scenario in whichever form seems to be a common occurrence.   

Recently, I listened to Rebecca Huntley speak at an ICML Facilitators Event about her book , How to talk about climate change in a way that makes a difference. It was fascinating to hear how discussion around climate change seems to be one of emotions more than facts. Guilt, Fear, Anger, Loss, Denial, and Love are some of the chapter titles in the book, speaking to the different emotional states people are in when it comes to the climate change debate. When it comes to communication on the topic Huntley references the Climate Compass - a guide to the emotional state of people and how to communicate to them about climate change (see graphic below). I find it fascinating that emotion is such an over-riding factor to how people view and act around a scientific discussion. It is a great way to understand why the despondence a team member feels in regard to business goals and targets. If we do not speak to this emotional state, we will be working overly hard to keep people 'up for it'.

If we look at this through the Return On Effort scale, seen below, the critical step is to graduate to a mindset where people can Get Real. Where people can find themselves in a place of Realistic Optimism - a key factor of resilience according to Daniel Goldman (Resilience: 7 Key Skills, The Thinking Academy). Realistic Optimism is the ability to gain a positive mindset based on past factual evidence. An example - a team previously delivered 10% growth in a sales environment. If the same team is faced with a target of 15% growth this year, they may find themselves saying, 

"We have never delivered 15% growth before. That's ridiculous! Its like trying to get blood out of a stone!" (Despondence)

A Realistic Optimism Reframe may sound like this:

"We had never delivered 10% before and we did it, so we have proven we can stretch and expand our capacity. Lets give this a crack!" 

From here there is a good chance everyone can problem solve, collaborate, and play with the challenge ahead freely and without restraint. There is a chance to put healthy practices into place, build small wins, and gain momentum to create a mystical and ever-evasive state of Belief. 

As per the Climate Compass, being able to understand the emotional state of our people in regards to their belief that 'it can be done' is the first step in our communication and leadership strategy that is often overlooked causing extra work and the straining of relationships. This also undermines the teams ability to fulfill the very role they are in place to accomplish. The Return on Effort Scale is from the book The Rhythm Effect. 

The critical first step...

Context is king. Or, more pointedly, Emotional Context is king. When our communication wholly speaks to the task we are fighting a losing battle. Investigating and acknowledging our team may initially reject the possibility of hitting goals handed down from above (or demanding clients) is the alternative to sitting in denial and banging the drum of "c'mon folks, we can do it if we work hard and stick together!" I've used this tactic many times myself and on reflection I realised I was kidding myself most of the time, resulting in longer and harder hours for me  in a futile process of papering over the cracks in the team's work. It may have looked like I was trying to convince others we could do it, but in reality I was just trying to convince myself. It is diminishing and contributes to a leader becoming beaten-down and despondent themselves. Instead, taking a moment to thrash out the emotional obstacles and feelings may sound touchy-feely, but is the action of true engagement, respect, and courage.

Lets have it out. Lets talk about the crap. Lets discuss the struggle. Lets put it on the table/whiteboard/Miro. Lets look at it so we can start to get real. And start getting Realistically Optimistic!

Having the 'you' conversation...

With a lack of belief comes a want or need for rescue. Often, leaders take the bait and do the rescuing. This is temping, It gives us a chance to be the hero. To save the day. But, this is ego masquerading as leadership. It is not a leader's job to do the work of the team. It is the leaders job to gain results through the team. So the better path is to go to team members and ask:

"What are you going to do about it?" 

This is what it boils down to. Not what I am going to do as the leader. As the leader, we all know what I am going to do - I am going to work night and day to get the result because the buck stops with me and its my arse on the line. But, what is it that the team member(s) is going to do? This is the central question to the discussion. To go from despondence to getting real and beyond, what are they going to do? They are adults. They are being paid. They are responsible for they're own deliverables. There is no need for sympathy or for trying to lighten the load (tempting as it may be). I have even seen teams reject the softest of targets during 2020, only for leaders to take away responsibilities from the team to appease them. The result - even worse performance and more moaning....

By engaging in the conversation of what the person needs to do, we empower them to take responsibility and prove to themselves they are capable and that we trust them to achieve the goals laid out before them. Some other 'you' questions may include:

"What information do you need to research?"

"What support do you want/need from me?"

"What are your priorities within this task?"

"How are you going to approach this conversation/task/situation to gain the outcome?"

There are hundreds of questions. You only need two or three to help people pull themselves up and start reframing. 

Give a gift...

The late college basketball coach in the USA, Jim Valvano, talked about his experience with belief. When he was coaching, he visited back home to see his dad. He showed Jim his suitcase in the corner of his bedroom and said, "When you play and win that National Championship I'm going to be there, my bags are packed already". Valvano went on to lead his team of mediocre wannabees to the national title in the 1982-83 season. He reflected on that moment with his dad saying, "my father gave me the greatest gift anyone can could give another person, he believed in me."

It is a moving story, captured beautifully in the ESPN 30 for 30 documentary, Survive and Advance. I feel we can take inspiration from this and ask ourselves what signals of belief can we give our team. How can we show we believe in them? I suggest the small things make a big difference. Like asking someone to present in the next meeting, or allowing a team member to speak more than you in a one-on-one meeting (or a meeting with a client). Or, by sending a shabbily done report straight back to them with feedback rather than correcting it ourselves. This last type may feel backward, but by sending it back we are saying, "you are better than that. I know you can do better. I believe in you more than you do". In my experience, this is powerful for changing people's mindset and is a missed opportunity for many leaders. 

Engaging with despondence is of tremendous value for getting results. Not being able to tackle this will surely mean more work, more friction, and more strain. 

Comment with your ideas, questions, what works for you, and how you approach this topic.