Fighting the wrong fight
Adjusting focus during a challenge makes the world of difference
Two punctures in three bike rides!
When trying to keep the festive inches off my waistline while on holiday I have found it tough to get out and do exercise.
But, when I got a 'another blow' out, only this time it was about 45 minutes walk from home, I immediately had a few things come to mind....
"you've got to be kidding me!'"
"this can't be happening to me!"
"what am I meant to do now!?!"
... and my personal favourite;
"why me!!!"
All of these responses are a mixture of catastrophisation and magical thinking. After reading Any Ordinary Day by Leigh Sales this summer I can see that this sort of reaction is common. My next reaction was to think about how I could be saved. Who around me could help or tell me what to do? Who could come and get me? Who can I call? Once again, this seems to be a very human thing to do in the first few moments of a crisis. Especially, when the scenario is in unfamiliar territory. When I realised I had set off without my phone the idea of being saved went out the window.
At this moment, there were two ways this could have gone... Revert to the five-year-old inside me and sulk, or get on with solving the problem. The latter is what we tend to settle for in need of functionality as much as social expectation. The next moment was critical. I reflected on all of the research and leadership knowledge I have gained over the years, and clicked into an entirely different mode.
I realised I was on a beautiful walking/biking track along a creek with trees and birds everywhere. It was a beautiful day and I had no time restraint on the day. I had a full drink bottle I hadn't touched yet. And, my goal for this outing was to get exercise.
Walking the bike home would give me the opportunity to enjoy nature without my phone or podcasts or music and enjoy the sounds and fresh air. I would get a real opportunity to hydrate and drink my complete bottle of water before getting home. I could still get my heart rate up and generate a sweat by walking the bike at a strong pace. There was in fact no problem, no challenge, and any energy I spent lamenting the odds of getting another puncture was not only a complete waste of my energy, it was also the most unimportant and irrelevant aspect of my journey.
It made me think of the constant challenges we have with people around us that don't do as we expect, or hand in poor work, or miss deadlines, or behave in a poor manner, or say things that rub us the wrong the way. Every day, leaders need to deal with set backs. I feel this should be the by-line for any leadership job description, 'head of dealing with daily set backs'. And, when dealing with these sorts of things every day, it can be draining.
The ability to redirect our attention to the real fight we are fighting instead of fighting the incident itself is a huge opportunity. In The Rhythm Effect, I discuss the three main reasons why people fall out of rhythm. One of them is described as an 'exasperation' often felt when a task is overwhelming or is underwhelming or boring. The overwhelm is associated with these moments of crisis and challenge. So, being able to redirect our thinking to first principles can be helpful:
what we are trying to achieve?
why we are doing what we are doing?
where are the new opportunities in front of me/us?
Grounding ourselves with such questions tends to diffuse our state and get us moving our project forward without waste or angst. In our complex and high-tempo workplaces, this skill not only has tangible value but it can totally energise our working day and the relationships with have with key stakeholders.
