Idleness
Being passive is anything but...
It's commonly known as introversion. The act of being passive. The re-emergence of stoicism and even taoism for modern professional performance and leadership tells us that philosophies around stillness and even procrastination can help us be productive, increase our resilience, and create practices for better mental health. Ryan Holiday advocates such principals in many of his books and is a huge fan of Marcus Aurelius' Mediations - a philosophical journey through the mind of an ancient thinker where passages are remarkably relevant to todays fast-paced life.
But like most things, there is a shadow side to being passive. We can walk through our days irritated that no one asks for our opinion, but then in a meeting we are put on the spot or we go blank. Or, we can mull over a challenge for hours, days, weeks, or even months and have little to show for the energy and thought we have put into it. For leaders, the perception can turn to judgments of inadequacy, meekness, or incompetence. Even someone who was labelled a 'peacock' in a personality test back in primary school has had many moments where I felt muted or stuck when the metaphoric microphone was passed to me. Knowing that the above perceptions of me were happening in front of my eyes only made those judgement compound to create what Brene Brown describes as excruciating vulnerability. The feeling of anxiety, overwhelm, and uncomfortability usually driven by things like embarrassment and shame. It is the perfect storm for a cycle of disconnection and despondence to occur.
Over the last year, I have worked with people struggling with such passiveness in themselves where withdrawal and idleness engulf them in certain meetings, scenarios, or as a general theme of their working day. On the flip side, I have worked with many leaders frustrated with such behaviour in their team members. I feel this is a big topic in our organisations currently causing strained working relationships, productivity drag, and deep unhappiness across the board. What fills me with optimism around this problematic passiveness is the discussion I have been having in various coaching and training sessions over the past six months or so. The tools and practices people are utilising are not only getting results but they are also implementing them without big investments in time or expenditure.
A few key themes:
Human Skills - prioritising our ability to read, understand, and interact with our own patterns and other humans is where its all at. It may sound obvious but just because you are a human doesn't mean you have good human skills. Daniel Goleman calls this Emotional Intelligence. Kieran Flanagan and Dan Gregory call them Forever Skills. Recently, I call them Social Proficiencies in the The Rhythm Effect . Whatever you call them, investing in these is the short and long game to overcoming challenges around the perceived idle.
Go Blue - The All Blacks has a core value around 'keeping a blue head'. This refers to the ability to remain cool, calm, and collected in the heat of battle for better decisions and overall performance. In a highly physical and combative sport such as rugby this is easier said than done. But, so it is in our workplaces. The state of blue enables us to think of other's needs and prioritise the work rather than our own emotions. When we focus on self (like frustration, infuriation, or procrastination) we tend to spiral into a mindset that is simply unhelpful. This is referred to as turning red. I think of the angry emoticon as a visual for this. Remaining blue can help us empathise with the person who is a little stuck. Or if we are the one drawing a blank it can calm us and help us turn our focus to the work and the next productive step.
Be kind - there is something called the three second rule, explained in more detail here (Business Insider). We are basically very judgmental creatures. It is a mechanism which has helped us survive as a species but it also creates a cascade of assumptions leading us away from connection, support, and trust. In a hard nosed business environment it can be difficult to be kind. It can be difficult to decipher kindness from being nice and even a push over or soft. And, sometimes people make it very difficult to be kind to them. But, I feel there are hundreds of opportunities in our daily interactions to enquire respectfully rather than judge. This is more than relevant in terms of how we treat ourselves too. We are generally our own harshest critic and most of the time I question if this is helpful. Self talk can be flat out abusive sometimes. So, be kind. Enquire rather than judge.
With some work in this area we can start to take a leaf out of the works of the stoics and begin to utilise the benefits of idleness, passiveness, and stillness rather than begrudge them or diminish ourselves because of it. Both individually and in terms of leadership I see a world of opportunity in this space. I would love to hear your experience, understandings, and tools around this subject.
